CURMUDGEON'S PASQUINADE

‘Lifestyle’ magazines - the bane of our times - the curse of the middle classes. Glossy lumps of previously innocent tree that drop though our letterboxes and obstruct the way out of village shops. Each month a species of lemur becomes extinct to give way to our insatiable desire to consume and aspire. We know that the laminated kitchen worktop will do the job; but we have seen an article about hand hewn granite worktops, lovingly prepared and installed by a local artisan for only the price of a new 4x4. There are glossy ads for antique Victorian cast radiators reconditioned in a Sussex farmhouse style. We can find garden offices (posh sheds) and Alpaca farmers (posh shepherds).

Fortunately there are exceptions to this nonsense. There are a few useful pages and the occasional useful magazine, even the odd (or very odd) book review. But above all else, there is one page that stands out from all the others – Magnet magazine’s ‘Curmudgeon’. A wondrous page of razor sharp observations, recanted in the most gloriously un-PC style. [Editor – this a book review, where is the book?] When, a few months ago, the proprietor of Magnet told me that she was thinking of putting together his articles in a book. I immediately said “What a good idea and can we have some?”. Now it is with us, hot off the press; a book of his (or maybe her) collected articles, and what a collection it is.

It runs from 1993 to 2008, the bulk of his writings in one volume. Being Curmudgeon, he has entitled it: “A Curmudgeon’s Pasquinade” [CMH. £9.99]. Apparently a ‘Pasquinade’ is a satire or lampoon; I suspect that Curmudgeon uses words like this in daily conversation.

The pen, when used as a sword is a marvellous tool, and he wields it to great effect. He cuts down to size the pomposity of politicians and officialdom and slices through the idiocy of modern television and celebrity culture. In a written version of the great observational comedians, he finds humour in the frustrations of modern life. His writing is of great quality, he knows exactly how to develop an often absurd storyline in order to maximize the ridicule heaped upon his subject. He has a healthy contempt for his targets even more so for any notion of political correctness, tempered with a firm libertarian streak.

It is amazing, looking back over the years that the book covers, how consistent he has been and how consistently idiotic his subjects have been, just change the names of the celebrities, companies and politicians and the 1990’s stories are today’s. Many of the one hundred articles are illustrated by some superb cartoons by Manny Galitzine.

I have just had a hugely amusing weekend, dipping in and out of this book. It’s not often I laugh out loud while reading. I loved it.

Now, I wonder when he is going to take on lifestyle magazines……